


Dwarven Dining

by myscribblingquill



Series: Secret Lesbians Kiliel Week [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, Food Fight, Secret Lesbians Kiliel Week, fem!Kili
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 19:31:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4799564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myscribblingquill/pseuds/myscribblingquill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://hobbithelltrashsquadproxy.tumblr.com/post/127477649975/the-punks-who-brought-you-thordalf-now">Secret Lesbians Week </a>Day 2 - Cultural Differences<br/>After having an evening meal hobbits make sure all the spare food, if there is any, is put back in the pantry. Elves make sure the dining area is left clean and tidy, men often sit and talk for a few hours. Dwarves however, have very different customs. Tauriel's never seen them behave like this before, but Kili assures her it's a normal thing. After all the food shouldn't be wasted and combat practise is always a good idea!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dwarven Dining

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this one was the only day that I had no idea’s for, cultural differences are hard. Hope you like it though!

"Kili, what is happening?"

Tauriel moved her head to the left to avoid a tomato that would have hit her face, but now hit Oin, who was in the process of grabbing all the pies from the table and throwing them at Balin.

"Kili what do I do?" Tauriel address the dwarf that was sitting to her left. She reached out a hand to placd it on Kili arm trying to draw her attention away from stealing the rolls that Fili had on his plate. Fili was currently throwing eggs at Bombur, so Kili took her brother's distraction as a sign that she could steal his food.

The hand on her arm brought her attention back to Tauriel. Kili noticed that she had a slightly terrified look on her face and was glancing round the table with concern. 

"It's ok, Tauriel" Kili replied. "Perfectly normal for after a meal and you did start it" she turned to face Tauriel, giving her a smirk. Kili saw Tauriel try to protest but realise that perhaps she did start it.

It wasn't really her fault though. Kili and Fili had been discussing how best to avoid their duities tomorrow, Tauriel had nearly interrupted and told them that no matter what they planned Balin and Dis would still find them. She could have started a conversation with Balin who was sat on her right but that he was trying to persuade Dwalin that he didn't need his war-hammer at a meal.

So Tauriel decided to get Kili attention, the only way that seemed to work. With food. Bilbo had made sure that all the green food was placed near her, as most of the other dwarves wouldn't eat it or they'd accidently throw it onto the fire. She hadn't eaten most of it, just a few things, the mountain was so warm she didn't feel hungry as often as she did when she lived in Mirkwood.

The main food that she left was grapes. Ever since she could remember grapes where the only thing she wouldn't eat. Her father had tried to get her to eat them, even hiding them within other foods but she still wouldn't eat them. So they were all left in the little bowl next to her wine glass.

She'd picked up a few and rolled them about in her hand, debating whether to use them or not. Next to her Kili was arguing with her brother about how they could make a barricade outside the council chamber look like an accident, so she pick up one grape and threw it. She aimed for Kili ear but her aim was slightly off. The grape bounced of Kili's head, onto Fili's face then rolled onto the floor.

Tauriel froze. She wasn't supposed to hit Fili as well, the grape wasn't supposed to bounce. Both siblings turned towards her, Kili looked amused that at what Tauriel had just done. Fili looked as if he wasn't sure how to react, his face frozen in a half shocked smile.

Kili however decided that she was going to retaliate. Not with grapes though, with tomatoes. Tauriel didn't even notice Kili's hand reaching over her plate to the bowl with the tomatoes. She was more concerned with explaining why she'd thrown a grape at Kili.

"I didn't mean to-" she started, about to apologize for hitting Fili in the face with a grape that was supposed to hit Kili. 

However by that point Kili had grabbed two tomatoes. She reached above Tauriel's head and dropped them down onto her hair. Tauriel stopped mid sentence, tomato started dripping down her hair. Then the rest of the dwarves noticed.

No one had explained to Tauriel that after most meals, if there was a large group of dwarves, the meal ended in a food fight. This one she unintentionally started. The dwarves were all throwing food, trying to hit each other and grabbing anything they could throw. 

Tauriel stayed in her chair, she wasn't too sure how to react when the chaos started. That was why she was trying to get Kili's attention, again. 

Now she had it, she asked why exactly were all wasting food by throwing it. She assumed it must be a rather common practise as Bilbo wasn't objecting like he normally did when food was being wasted. Kili explained how dwarves normally ended a meal, but upon registering the concerned look on her face Kili.

Pushing her chair away from the table and slipping out of it Kili grabbed Tauriel's hand and pulled her over to the door. She made sure to avoid the firing range of any of the other dwarves, to minimise the amount of food they got hit with, as the dwarves were still using the food as combat practise.

At the door Tauriel pulled Kili's hand back, halting her just as they were about to leave the room. "Kili are you sure you want to leave?" Tauriel asked, she might have felt uncomfortable in the room full of fighting dwarves but Kili was used to it and she did want to drag her away.

"Yeah, after all we've got to get that tomato out of your hair haven't we" she replied with a mischievous look as they slipped out of the room to find a wash basin to clean of the food from their hair and faces.

"Well, that's you fault"

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. Thanks for reading!


End file.
